Tuesday 1 August 2006

My so-called vacation... from HELL!

Finished up on another pet project here and didn't manage to have a comic ready.

Good news is that I can share this new project with you guys.

See, I like toys. I have a few of them. I've been quietly fondling the idea (or is it fiddling? :P) of making stupid movies with puppets.

This would also give me the opportunity to play with some of my dusty sfx and animation skills.

I called up the Hamster and coughed up my idea. She was nice enough to give me some voices real quick-like that I could work it.

So, without further ado, I present thee : ''My so-called vacation... from HELL!''

Sunday 9 July 2006

Burger time

For your viewing (dis)pleasure, I am sorry to present you with this new experiment in candy world.

You might potentially remember old posts about candy...

This is something else...

A good friend of mine gave me this on my birthday, a few months ago. I promised to show my reactions and thoughts on the subject. Words are meaningless when faced with a real-sized marshmallow burger...

It creepishly looks like a real burger. And it feels like real steamed bread. And it has a mild taste that might recall the aroma of crap. Only frutier. At least the taste is mild.

My stomach did not thank or forgive me for the whole experience. Pehaps that, at 31, I am finally getting to old for such boyish stunts.

Monday 4 July 2005

Before Batman Begins.

Before a movie, you get commercials.

[read more!]

Wednesday 18 May 2005

Oscar's Finds.

Marketing works in mysterious ways.

I can think of dozens of ideas that would attract kids to candy. Colors, shapes, drugs, tastes, and brand derivatives are only the top of the list.

But something has happened a long time ago that I never quite understood. Perhaps lightning stroke a creative person, giving him noggin' power beyond mere mortal men's common conception of what can be understood. Perhaps he was rocketed away from a dying world and fell onto our own with excentric extra-terestitral understanding of how kids mind works.

It started as a small, innovative, odd idea. It seems to have grown to a trend.

Ladies and gents, I present unto thee: the garbage-themed candy.

Many things come to mind, seeing such an assortment of similarily-themed food products. The first would be: "gabage-themed food?". The second, much more widespread is more akin to: "Oh my God! Whyyy? WHYYYY??!!".

Every fiber of my being is perplex and I am starting to suspect that this perhaps an elaboare experiment to see if humans can reach out to one another at a cellular level.

Anyway, let's visit these beauties.

The first can is a classic. Well, an elongated version of a classic. I remember tasting these quite a few years back and thinking: "how appropriate, it tastes like garbage!"

A cornucopica of sweet refuse!

And what a selection of choice scraps: soda bottles, fish bones, bones, old boots, etc. And what a selection of colors (tastes?)! Pinkish, greenish and whiteish.

Let's not make the waste wait. I'm picking up a white bottle.

Ugh. Tastes like Pez. (I hate pez. I like pez dispensers, but pez candy taste like sugar with an aftertaste of dirty ass).

Maby the green boot'll make my day?

Well, that's satisfying. It tastes approximatively like filthy, rotting footwear. Oh my god. What do they put in there?

Red bone? Somewhat less distastefull. Its... sour... It's like sour, filthy rotting footwear with an aftertaste of dirty ass.

Maybe the taste grows on you? And maybe it litterally does. Let's move on to the next can.

You can't see it clearly. But what we have here is a bunch of gelatin rats fused together and a can of "green apple" sugar powder.

The candy is aptly named "Oh Ratz!". The goal of the exercice is to suck on a rat and, while the rat remains moist, dip it in the green apple (why??) tasting (supposedly) powder (assuredly).

Without further ado, I will dip the rodent and proceed to suck on it.

Well, it does taste as advertised. It tastes like all artificially flavored green apple candy ever does. Perhaps candy tasting like apple is supposed to make kids believe it's secretly nutritious? Nah, it'd scare them away. Probably it's trying to fool parents.

Seriously, its not so bad. It's wacky. I'm heading towards a sugar rush. But if you like green apples and sucking on rodents - and would love to do both at the same time - you've got some kind of a winner here.

Well, let's move on to the last of our - insert the name of a synonyms for garbage cans here -.

This one is aptly named "The Dumpster" and kinda look like a large reycling bin. So it must be harmless.

The candy in there is abstract garbage - stars, dots and bones of various colors. Nothing odd here. If I had big colorful stars, bones and dots laying around at home, serving no purpose, I'd also throw'em in a dumpster and try to forget about them. I think I'd also go for a nice glass of cuban rhum, while I'm at it.

Lets go for a red dot.

OUCH! Man, that candy is hard. I have the reflex to chew, but its nowhere near chewy. It feels like diamond-hard Runts-like candy. The taste is vaguely fruity and not unpleasant at all. Which seems to be valid for most colors of the candy. Pleasant surprise.

Dont bite or suck too hard on the stars. They're sharp.

The dumpster specifies "Ages 4+". Now, I think it's the first time I've ever heard of a minimal age for candy, but I think I get it. This candy is hard. And small. A 6 month old children could spend an unpleasant time with one of these. Until he swallowed it and calmly call out for his mother's breasts with all the strength of lung one of such age can muster.

Well, there you have it. Garbage candy. Looks like a trend. Kids want to eat garbage.

Or is it propaganda? Maybe we're secretly training our young to have better dispositions towards homelessness? Or maybe we're just training them to be able to buy just about any piece of crap when they grow up?

Or maybe, just like me, they like odd, wacky and unusual stuff.

Monday 16 May 2005

Toothy Candy

It often fascinates me, how an idea can germinate into a human's mind. How that said human talks to another human about this idea and convinces him that his idea is, in fact, a good idea. Then someone allows a budget to that idea and it becomes reality.

It becomes a product.

And then, another person decides - either out of curiosity, sympathy or some other form of misguided decising-making mechanisme - that it just might be, in fact an idea representative of what I like to call the "good" group.

Such is the case with this weird candy concept. I've been offered this candy (along with an interresting collection of odd candies) as part of a birthday gift last week.

This candy, as alot of candy does these days, is presented in a container. Where it starts getting weird, is when you realize the container is shaped like a tooth. Weirder still, one half of the tooth is fake-blood red.

Let's give your imagination a break:

I don't remember the name of the candy or how the instructions exactly went (I did not, at the time, have the presence of mind required to take note of such things. Mea culpa and let's keep moving on.) Basically, the container is split in two. There's a "candy" side, filled with little candy teeth (oh, the irony!). While the other side is filled with a jello-y red goo, that - it would seem - represents microbes or cavities... or is it melted bloody gums (kind of reminds me of petri dish blood agar...? I don't know what it is, but it sure is fruit flavored.

On the candy side lies a pair of little plastier pliers. As you undoubtebly have already guessed, the objective is to pick up a tooth with the pliers, dip it in the bloody gory goo and, as the saying goes, ingest it.

Creepy cool.

Doesn't taste so bad. The teeth are made mostly of sugar and shamelessly taste like sugar. The reddish jell-o, well, tastes like some kind of berry. I've always had a hard time differenciating chemical raspberries from chemical strawberries.

Well, that wasn't anything like cuitlacoche or anything Steve has ever tried eating. But then again, I have no intention of competing.

Sadly, the most digusting candy ever made has not made it from the party to my house and I won't be able to share pictures of it. But perhaps my memory of it will suffice in a future post...