I think the movie was bad. If you hated the first Underworld Movie, you'll loathe the second. If you loved the first, you are allowed a saving throw. If successful, you will feel odd; you will dislike the movie, but will somehow be attracted to it. If you fail, you will fall head over heels for it; rave like a madman; and say odd things like : "man, its even better than the first one!"

That being said, this movie hardly makes any sense. If you managed to get sucked within the story (whcih would require twin cyconic action, sold separately), you could grasp the underlying story.

Of course, all that story thing might just get past by you as you question what is going on on the screen.

What can redeem this movie to your eye: Kate Beckingsale, playing a darn sexy vampire, wearing tight shiny rubbery clothes and kicking butt.

Yay for that!

Quick compare:

  • better than Van Helsing (no mention was made about whether one character in the movie ever saw the sea in her life).
  • worse than the first Uderworld (though we do kinda grasp now, that the vampire and her weird mutant friend have feelings for one another).
  • worse than Day of the Dead (which, like tencious fungus, will grow on you if you allow it to remain in place).

To close the short version: I'll most likely buy the DVD of Underworld : Evolution.

You may read the following even if you plan to go see the movie. If anything else, you might understand the story better and get a few laughs while popping previously popped corn in your mouth.

WARNING: The following may contain spoilers, relevant pieces of story and even opinions. Autonomous guidance is advised.

  1. Don't sit too close. The filmmakers obviously recognized that their movie was going to be seen on TVs. Things move around so fast and the camera shakes enough that you'll get a headache from trying to figure out the action.
  2. Movie starts with a flashback. You won't recognize anyone before its too late : they're wearing big helmets; they all look the same. Eventually, the scene ends (if this is your first vieweing you're going: "WTF?"). The movie then picks up roughly a few hours after the first movie.
  3. The flashback is followed by more flashback, in the form of clips from the first movie being shown on fast forward. Too little too quick for people who has not seen the first movie to understand anything. And too much for fans of the first movie (why the hell are you showing me this? I already know all of this!!)
  4. Everwhere, in this movie, is close to everywhere else. "We're running away from the evil vampires! Lets go in our car! Yes, I know this very evil vampire I exiled, he'll know where we must go!" 3 minutes and one giant bat later: "Here we are!". Wow. That was a pretty remote exile place!
  5. Whenever I go fight evil, I make sure not to forget to bring the body of my recently deceased boyfriend. I mean, heck, we never know when one such cadaver might turn out to be useful!
  6. "I've tasted the blood of our forefather. I will be transformed! But what will I become?" Apparently, the same as you already are. But resistant to light. Lets save on special effects, shall we? I mean we've already seen bats and wolves and, well - obviously - you already are sexy...
  7. We must not kill William (mr First Werewolf) or Marcus (mr First Vampire) as all of their kind would die. Of course, once they're dead... nothing happens. And the nothingness also goes unacknowledged...
  8. "Now that we have killed Victor, Marcus, William and all every night creature we came upon, only darker days are to come". What? I mean, what's worse to come? You guys killed everyone! Oh wait - I got it! You'll be pregnant with Michaels' baby. That are the darker days... and what's to say of Selene's mutant pregnancy mood swings and food cravings? Darker times indeed...
  9. Speaking of Michael... I mean, the guys is a beast, right? Half werewolf, half vampire... boils with rage, turns black and kicks the butt out of everything. I mean, for sure this guy was going to be a beast in bed, right? So why did he just put his knees every side of (nude!) Selene's stomach, taped his privates safely to the side of his legs and did the mating dance of the sunflower seed? That was the lamest lame sex scene ever.
  10. Speaking of lame: these guys have this wonderful medallion artifact (but what does it mean?) that has a very special hidden secret. Selene, every clever, finally figures out how to activate the cleverly hidden mechanism: just press on the green button. How cleverly hidden! No wonder its secrets were garded for millenia!

Still, I give thumbs up for Kate in black kicking monstrous ass. Thumbs up for a few really cool special effects moment.

Thumbs up some random bodily orifice for the script. Someone needed more time to think things through.

As stated above, however, I'll still most likely go for the DVD.

What can I say? I have a thing for sexy ass-kicking women in black tight clothing.