Now that I flushed cinema ads out of my system let's do the movie review.

It's great. Really. The best Batman movie ever.

Most reviews are happy with it. So am I.

I've heard the fight scenes were blurry, the camera is shaky and you don't get what's going on.

It's true.

Is this movie for children?

Nope. Batman scared me once or twice. I'm 30 years old and zombie movies where someone tears the guts out of a live person and starts eating it makes me laugh.

Can I take my girlfriend?

Yes. In fact, it would seem women like this movie more than men. They're probably less frustrated about the blurry fights, more happy about the character development, find Liam Neason and Christian Bale pretty and they might even get a facefull of hair color and fruity lip gloss mind-twisting ads before the movie starts.

Can I take my boyfriend?

Hell yeah.

I'm going to try not to spoil things. But be warned: in this movie a guy dresses up like a bat to scare the shit out of criminals. Everbody on the planet knows that. And the title of the movie is Batman. As in bat and man. If you still don't get it, you're just too fucking thick.

So, it's an origin movie. So you don't get to see batman till about half the length of the 2h20 movie. Contrary to the "Hulk" movie, you don't mind so freaking much.

We get to see our Bruce Wayne (that's the guy who dresses up like the bat man. No spoilers here again. We all know this. All of us who were living over the rocks, that is) getting a double dose of trauma as he is attacked by bats and "you know now" gets "you-know-whatted" right in front of his face. (No, it's not raped. Come on!)

As he looses interrest in lifes, he manages to get into more and more fights until he gets noticed by Ras'Al Gul who'll train him to become some sorta weird-ass crime-fighting-ninja-assassin. I already knew Ras. I just didn't know he had anything to do with the batster's training.

(Why am I retelling the story, I hate reviews that do that...)

He comes back home, dresses up like a bat and beats the shit out of criminals.

The end.

Okay, so, blurry fights. See, the bat dude is trained to fight in a manner that will distract, scare and beat the crap outta groups of bad guys. They see blur. You see blur. It works for me. It's just that more intimidating.

Where it doesn't work, is in two fights, one is pre-training and is so violent maybe it's ok we didn't really see things. The other one is near the end of the movie and we just don't give a shit about blurry shaky effects. We want to see the god damned action.

We likey anyway.

I also said batman scared me. Well, yes he did. Maybe if I tell you why, it just won't work for you. Or maybe by saying he scared me, I already raised your expectations too high.

At one point, the Dark Night uses his incredible detective skills to question a criminal. He hooks him from the street and zips him an eight-storey building, which is already some pretty intimidating shit.

If I remember well, he's head down (or is it the crimial. who cares) and uses this weird-ass coarse, bass voice and asks where the fuck is the big bad guy.

Somehow, I found all of this very threatening and very intimidating. Way to go batty! Columbo has nothing on you!

I just loved this scene. I don't know why I connected so much with it. I was pulling on my hair saying: "oh shit, oh shit!".

Needless to say, I would've talked my ass off, if I was this criminal.

You don't want to be an ennemy of the batman.

I'm not so sure I'd want to be his friend too.

But I sure want to see this movie again.

And again.

And again.