Marketing works in mysterious ways.

I can think of dozens of ideas that would attract kids to candy. Colors, shapes, drugs, tastes, and brand derivatives are only the top of the list.

But something has happened a long time ago that I never quite understood. Perhaps lightning stroke a creative person, giving him noggin' power beyond mere mortal men's common conception of what can be understood. Perhaps he was rocketed away from a dying world and fell onto our own with excentric extra-terestitral understanding of how kids mind works.

It started as a small, innovative, odd idea. It seems to have grown to a trend.

Ladies and gents, I present unto thee: the garbage-themed candy.

Many things come to mind, seeing such an assortment of similarily-themed food products. The first would be: "gabage-themed food?". The second, much more widespread is more akin to: "Oh my God! Whyyy? WHYYYY??!!".

Every fiber of my being is perplex and I am starting to suspect that this perhaps an elaboare experiment to see if humans can reach out to one another at a cellular level.

Anyway, let's visit these beauties.

The first can is a classic. Well, an elongated version of a classic. I remember tasting these quite a few years back and thinking: "how appropriate, it tastes like garbage!"

A cornucopica of sweet refuse!

And what a selection of choice scraps: soda bottles, fish bones, bones, old boots, etc. And what a selection of colors (tastes?)! Pinkish, greenish and whiteish.

Let's not make the waste wait. I'm picking up a white bottle.

Ugh. Tastes like Pez. (I hate pez. I like pez dispensers, but pez candy taste like sugar with an aftertaste of dirty ass).

Maby the green boot'll make my day?

Well, that's satisfying. It tastes approximatively like filthy, rotting footwear. Oh my god. What do they put in there?

Red bone? Somewhat less distastefull. Its... sour... It's like sour, filthy rotting footwear with an aftertaste of dirty ass.

Maybe the taste grows on you? And maybe it litterally does. Let's move on to the next can.

You can't see it clearly. But what we have here is a bunch of gelatin rats fused together and a can of "green apple" sugar powder.

The candy is aptly named "Oh Ratz!". The goal of the exercice is to suck on a rat and, while the rat remains moist, dip it in the green apple (why??) tasting (supposedly) powder (assuredly).

Without further ado, I will dip the rodent and proceed to suck on it.

Well, it does taste as advertised. It tastes like all artificially flavored green apple candy ever does. Perhaps candy tasting like apple is supposed to make kids believe it's secretly nutritious? Nah, it'd scare them away. Probably it's trying to fool parents.

Seriously, its not so bad. It's wacky. I'm heading towards a sugar rush. But if you like green apples and sucking on rodents - and would love to do both at the same time - you've got some kind of a winner here.

Well, let's move on to the last of our - insert the name of a synonyms for garbage cans here -.

This one is aptly named "The Dumpster" and kinda look like a large reycling bin. So it must be harmless.

The candy in there is abstract garbage - stars, dots and bones of various colors. Nothing odd here. If I had big colorful stars, bones and dots laying around at home, serving no purpose, I'd also throw'em in a dumpster and try to forget about them. I think I'd also go for a nice glass of cuban rhum, while I'm at it.

Lets go for a red dot.

OUCH! Man, that candy is hard. I have the reflex to chew, but its nowhere near chewy. It feels like diamond-hard Runts-like candy. The taste is vaguely fruity and not unpleasant at all. Which seems to be valid for most colors of the candy. Pleasant surprise.

Dont bite or suck too hard on the stars. They're sharp.

The dumpster specifies "Ages 4+". Now, I think it's the first time I've ever heard of a minimal age for candy, but I think I get it. This candy is hard. And small. A 6 month old children could spend an unpleasant time with one of these. Until he swallowed it and calmly call out for his mother's breasts with all the strength of lung one of such age can muster.

Well, there you have it. Garbage candy. Looks like a trend. Kids want to eat garbage.

Or is it propaganda? Maybe we're secretly training our young to have better dispositions towards homelessness? Or maybe we're just training them to be able to buy just about any piece of crap when they grow up?

Or maybe, just like me, they like odd, wacky and unusual stuff.